Post by dacapo on Nov 1, 2007 2:10:57 GMT -5
When meeting him for the first time(and in general)...
Do:
- Make conversation with him; He's shy, but once you get him talking he can be quite friendly
- Offer to let him feel your face
- Offer him your arm to hold on when showing him around an unfamiliar place
- Keep your distance and let him come to you when he feels he can trust you enough
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Talk to him about something he shows no interest in
- Get too close when he doesn't know you
- Pat him on the head(he doesn't like it when his head is touched; it's a Southeast Asian cultural no-no)
- Talk about him in third person when he is within earshot
- Eat a durian anywhere near him(he can't stand the smell of that particular fruit)
[meltdown triggers]
- Yell or speak sharply around him
- Burst balloons
- Make any sudden movements or loud noises
- Grab his hand without warning
- Grab or hug him without warning or reason
When going on a date with him...
Do:
- Let him hold onto your arm, or gently guide his hand to your arm, and lead him into the resturaunt, cinema, or whichever place you are going
- Keep your hands to yourself for the first few dates
- Read the menu for him
- If possible, go to a resturaunt that serves curry noodles, one of his favourites
- Guide his hands to the utensils and cup if he seems unable to find them
- Help him up and lead him to the men's room when he needs to use it(he usually indicates it by tensing up and crossing his legs)
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Read the menu too loudly
- Tell him his drink or food is hot
- Try to hold hands or kiss him on the first date
- Play 'footsie' until he is used to you
- Try to clean his face or shirt, since he usually will do it himself during or after the meal
[meltdown triggers]
- Attempt to make out on the first few dates
- Take him to a place where there is lots of loud talking
- Take him to a loud action movie(especially ones with a lot of airplane sounds)
- 'Glomp' or hug and hang onto him without warning
In a public place...
Do:
- Lead him around, and if need be keep a hold of his shirt
- Keep an eye on him
- Talk with him so he knows where you are
- Keep him away from areas with lots of people
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Talk about his mental state to others
- In general treat him like a child
[meltdown triggers]
- Let him wander off
- Take him into a crowd unless absolutely necessary
- Take him into a store with too many noises or loud music
When he is showing signs of a possible meltdown...
Do:
- Pat his hand or shoulder to help calm him down
- Lead him to a quiet area, like a bench or a chair, where he can sit down and relax
- Speak calmly and soothingly
- Get him a glass of water or tea
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Stroke his head
- Hold his hand
- Do anything to draw attention to his situation
[meltdown triggers]
- Panic
- Grab his hand and try to run out of the area with him
- Try to restrain him
If he does have a panic attack...
Do:
- Try to keep people as far away from him as possible
- If possible, gently lead him out of the area
- Speak softly
- Pat and stroke his hand
- Wrap a blanket or jacket around him
- Gently restrain his arms
- Hold him until he becomes still
Don't:
- Touch his head unless necessary
- Grab his arms or hands(it will make him panic worse)
- Yell
- Panic
- Try to carry or pull him away unless necessary
After the attack is over...
Do:
- Hold him lightly, enough to allow him to get up if he wishes
- Rock him a little
- Talk to him softly
- If he knows you well enough, stroke his hands(and his face, if you are romantically involved with him)
- Hug him
- Pat his shoulder or back
- Keep him there until he is lucid enough to get his bearings
- Get him a glass of water or a boiled sweet
- Take him home so he can change and get some rest, if possible
Don't:
- Hug him too tight
- Keep him restrained for too long
- Say anything that would humiliate him
- Try to move him too soon
- Hold his hands too firmly
- Stroke the back of his head(he generally will not allow someone to touch his head, except for cutting his hair or if someone is very close or deeply romantically involved with him, and then, usually only in private)
- Bring him to any area with too much stimuli for the next few hours
Do:
- Make conversation with him; He's shy, but once you get him talking he can be quite friendly
- Offer to let him feel your face
- Offer him your arm to hold on when showing him around an unfamiliar place
- Keep your distance and let him come to you when he feels he can trust you enough
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Talk to him about something he shows no interest in
- Get too close when he doesn't know you
- Pat him on the head(he doesn't like it when his head is touched; it's a Southeast Asian cultural no-no)
- Talk about him in third person when he is within earshot
- Eat a durian anywhere near him(he can't stand the smell of that particular fruit)
[meltdown triggers]
- Yell or speak sharply around him
- Burst balloons
- Make any sudden movements or loud noises
- Grab his hand without warning
- Grab or hug him without warning or reason
When going on a date with him...
Do:
- Let him hold onto your arm, or gently guide his hand to your arm, and lead him into the resturaunt, cinema, or whichever place you are going
- Keep your hands to yourself for the first few dates
- Read the menu for him
- If possible, go to a resturaunt that serves curry noodles, one of his favourites
- Guide his hands to the utensils and cup if he seems unable to find them
- Help him up and lead him to the men's room when he needs to use it(he usually indicates it by tensing up and crossing his legs)
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Read the menu too loudly
- Tell him his drink or food is hot
- Try to hold hands or kiss him on the first date
- Play 'footsie' until he is used to you
- Try to clean his face or shirt, since he usually will do it himself during or after the meal
[meltdown triggers]
- Attempt to make out on the first few dates
- Take him to a place where there is lots of loud talking
- Take him to a loud action movie(especially ones with a lot of airplane sounds)
- 'Glomp' or hug and hang onto him without warning
In a public place...
Do:
- Lead him around, and if need be keep a hold of his shirt
- Keep an eye on him
- Talk with him so he knows where you are
- Keep him away from areas with lots of people
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Talk about his mental state to others
- In general treat him like a child
[meltdown triggers]
- Let him wander off
- Take him into a crowd unless absolutely necessary
- Take him into a store with too many noises or loud music
When he is showing signs of a possible meltdown...
Do:
- Pat his hand or shoulder to help calm him down
- Lead him to a quiet area, like a bench or a chair, where he can sit down and relax
- Speak calmly and soothingly
- Get him a glass of water or tea
Don't:
[annoyances]
- Stroke his head
- Hold his hand
- Do anything to draw attention to his situation
[meltdown triggers]
- Panic
- Grab his hand and try to run out of the area with him
- Try to restrain him
If he does have a panic attack...
Do:
- Try to keep people as far away from him as possible
- If possible, gently lead him out of the area
- Speak softly
- Pat and stroke his hand
- Wrap a blanket or jacket around him
- Gently restrain his arms
- Hold him until he becomes still
Don't:
- Touch his head unless necessary
- Grab his arms or hands(it will make him panic worse)
- Yell
- Panic
- Try to carry or pull him away unless necessary
After the attack is over...
Do:
- Hold him lightly, enough to allow him to get up if he wishes
- Rock him a little
- Talk to him softly
- If he knows you well enough, stroke his hands(and his face, if you are romantically involved with him)
- Hug him
- Pat his shoulder or back
- Keep him there until he is lucid enough to get his bearings
- Get him a glass of water or a boiled sweet
- Take him home so he can change and get some rest, if possible
Don't:
- Hug him too tight
- Keep him restrained for too long
- Say anything that would humiliate him
- Try to move him too soon
- Hold his hands too firmly
- Stroke the back of his head(he generally will not allow someone to touch his head, except for cutting his hair or if someone is very close or deeply romantically involved with him, and then, usually only in private)
- Bring him to any area with too much stimuli for the next few hours
