Post by dacapo on Nov 28, 2008 4:41:55 GMT -5
This is a fanfic I've been working on in my head for awhile and tonight it just started coming out. It's based on the 1994 Fantastic Four cartoon, so in it, Alicia Masters is Caucasian and a redhead. And the title I got from a Greenday song, "King for a Day".
Thing For a Day, Princess by Dawn
It was one of those days, I guess. Stretcho was experimenting with one of his latest doohickies and here I am, stupid enough to be in the same room. Alicia came in and tripped on one of the wires, and fell into that... whatever it was. Most of the time I don't even know what Stretcho's workin' on and I don't even care. I'm a flippin' pilot, not a scientist! She touched some metal ball or somethin', and you know me. I ran over and grabbed her hand and then the next thing I know, I wake up with a splittin' headache, and the lights are off.
"Hey Stretcho! Turn the cockamamy lights back on! Or did ya burn out one of the fuses again?"
I was pretty damned irritated. Miss Forbes was gonna be waltzin' in any minute, and here I was, lyin' on the ground and possibly giving her the perfect excuse to kick us all out.
"Uh... Alicia..."
Why Johnny was mentioning Alicia, I didn't know - but somethin' was tellin' me I didn't wanna.
"Y-you did a nice impression of Ben, really... but..."
Impression? Me? An impressionist? What was Sue goin' on about?
"Oh... what... what happened..."
I turned to see who the hell it was, but forgot that the lights were out and Johnny and Sue decided to be a couple jokers.
"Who's there!" I shouted, sitting up before instantly regretting it.
Man. I don't know what I'd eaten, but I swore if I found out, I'd never touch it again.
"Ben... where's Ben? And why...?"
That voice was kinda familiar now, but the accent? Ok. Time to get up and see what was goin' on and pray like hell I don't bump into the two comedians. I sit up and try to get outta bed, when someone pushes me down again, and the real kicker is - whoever it was, was stronger than me.
"Ok, jokes over, it's clobbrin' time!"
Well, I finally convinced whoever it was to get the hell offa me, and I get up, then I fall back to the floor and knock my head against somethin'. It hurt. It never hurts when I bump my head - I'm the thing! I'd bash a hole in it! So anyways, I hold the side of my head, and it feels wet. I'm bleedin'. I don't bleed. My skin's made o' rock, the only thing that'd make me bleed like that would be that metal whatever it is in Wolverine's claws, an' Stretcho don't got that stuff layin' around his lab.
So I get up an' look for a light switch, when I trip an' feel somethin' real familiar. It's my skin. An' it ain't on me.
"What the hell?"
So I jump back, an' bump into someone, and then feel something real heavy on my shoulder.
"Y-you're bleeding..." the one in front of me says.
An' I reach out to feel who it was. It was me. I know that face - wash it every day, keep it squeeky clean. So I reach over to my face and it... it feels human. And it's got blood all over it now. I got hair. Then I reach down to my chest... I got man-boobs now. Then I realize I gotta take a leak real bad, so I try to remember where the bathroom is, and I cross my legs, an' find Mr. Dinky ain't there. I reach in and feel around. Oh boy.
Then I realized why they was callin' me 'Alicia'. Whatever doohicky Stretcho was workin' on, it switched me with Alicia, and now she's got my big ugly-assed bod. How the hell was Gumby gonna get us outta this one? So I take my hand outta my girl's crotch - ain't gonna do anything untoward 'cause I respect her more than that - and I ask whoever is "What the cockamamy heck is goin' on here?"
"How are Alicia and Ben doing, Sweetheart?" I hear Professor Gumby askin'.
"Oh just peachy, I'm blind, my head's bleedin', and I gotta take a flippin' leak! Where the hell are we, where's the bathroom, and HOW THE HELL ARE YA GONNA GET US BACK INTA' OUR OWN BODIES?"
"Ben?"
"Are you as BLIND AS I AM RIGHT NOW STRETCHO? I'm in Alicia's body, an' it's all because of yer cockamamy machine! What the hell were ya tryin' to do this time? Switch yer mind with a fly? 'Cause that would be damn amusing!"
I was in my usual grouchy mood, and it turns out it was gonna get worse.
"REED RICHARDS!"
I heard the ugly old landlady stompin' in. Probably steamed 'cause his experiments were gettin' too noisy, smelly, dangerous, or maybe switching people without warning. Maybe it switched her with a dog - but nobody'd notice. Guess science does have its limits.
"REED RICHARDS! I've been getting complaints about your experiments again! They've woken up a sick old woman who is"
Stretcho got into his typical namby-pamby apologizing to to that bitch, so I decided to cut in with my two cents.
"Look, lady, could you come some other day when I'm through clobbrin' him?"
Her jaw musta dropped, but I didn't know 'cause I couldn't see. I did hear her gasp at the way I - no, Alicia - was gettin' in her face. And of course threatenin' to clobber Gumby.
"Well I never!" Miss Forbes sniffed.
"Wehw ah mehvah" I told her, rollin' my - no Alicia's - eyes.
"Please please just stop this! I don't even know what happened but yes... it does seem... Ben and I have been switched"
"Whoa Ben my man... this is sure gonna be interesting..." I heard Johnny say, an' when he laid a hand on his shoulder, I stepped back. Ain't no way he was gonna touch me. I may have a woman's body but I'm still a man and I ain't gonna let no man touch Alicia!
"Yeah, but yer still gonna get clobbered if ya ever try anythin' - so back off ya overgrown matchstick!"
"Ok ok Ben... I just need to getcha a bandage for your head!"
I felt him back off, which was good. Didn't wanna hafta worry 'bout him touchin' Alicia's body. Dirty little walkin' hormone.
"That's right, Ben, you're bleeding really badly from that nasty cut," Sue told me.
I felt Alicia - in my body - take my hand. It felt kinda like warm rocks were closing around my hand, and it got a little tight.
"Whoa whoa Alicia... little gentler..."
"Oh Ben... I-I'm sorry..." she began, an' it sounded like she was cryin' - poor Alicia. I wanted to hold her tight and never let go.
Alicia dropped my hand and I heard her step back, and something being knocked over. Guess she was still gettin' used to my body... and probably seeing. So, while Susie and Match-man was bandagin' my head, I felt around for Alicia until she took my hand again, this time it didn't hurt.
"That's ok, Alicia... easy does it..."
I reached up and felt her face, that face that I knew so well as my own. My hand stroked it and caught a few tears. Oh Alicia...
"Ben... Ben... I'm scared..." Alicia whispered.
"Don't worry, Alicia, It'll be ok"
Soon found out that yes, she could see, but she was havin' a hard time with it 'cause she'd been blind for so long. Me? I couldn't read braille, kept on trippin' over things, and had to start sitting down to take a leak. Great... can't wait 'till I get my first period. I can just picture Johnny bein' a wiseguy and giving me "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret". If he does, I clobber him.
Hope Stretcho can find out how to get me and Alicia back into our own bodies before then.
Thing For a Day, Princess by Dawn
It was one of those days, I guess. Stretcho was experimenting with one of his latest doohickies and here I am, stupid enough to be in the same room. Alicia came in and tripped on one of the wires, and fell into that... whatever it was. Most of the time I don't even know what Stretcho's workin' on and I don't even care. I'm a flippin' pilot, not a scientist! She touched some metal ball or somethin', and you know me. I ran over and grabbed her hand and then the next thing I know, I wake up with a splittin' headache, and the lights are off.
"Hey Stretcho! Turn the cockamamy lights back on! Or did ya burn out one of the fuses again?"
I was pretty damned irritated. Miss Forbes was gonna be waltzin' in any minute, and here I was, lyin' on the ground and possibly giving her the perfect excuse to kick us all out.
"Uh... Alicia..."
Why Johnny was mentioning Alicia, I didn't know - but somethin' was tellin' me I didn't wanna.
"Y-you did a nice impression of Ben, really... but..."
Impression? Me? An impressionist? What was Sue goin' on about?
"Oh... what... what happened..."
I turned to see who the hell it was, but forgot that the lights were out and Johnny and Sue decided to be a couple jokers.
"Who's there!" I shouted, sitting up before instantly regretting it.
Man. I don't know what I'd eaten, but I swore if I found out, I'd never touch it again.
"Ben... where's Ben? And why...?"
That voice was kinda familiar now, but the accent? Ok. Time to get up and see what was goin' on and pray like hell I don't bump into the two comedians. I sit up and try to get outta bed, when someone pushes me down again, and the real kicker is - whoever it was, was stronger than me.
"Ok, jokes over, it's clobbrin' time!"
Well, I finally convinced whoever it was to get the hell offa me, and I get up, then I fall back to the floor and knock my head against somethin'. It hurt. It never hurts when I bump my head - I'm the thing! I'd bash a hole in it! So anyways, I hold the side of my head, and it feels wet. I'm bleedin'. I don't bleed. My skin's made o' rock, the only thing that'd make me bleed like that would be that metal whatever it is in Wolverine's claws, an' Stretcho don't got that stuff layin' around his lab.
So I get up an' look for a light switch, when I trip an' feel somethin' real familiar. It's my skin. An' it ain't on me.
"What the hell?"
So I jump back, an' bump into someone, and then feel something real heavy on my shoulder.
"Y-you're bleeding..." the one in front of me says.
An' I reach out to feel who it was. It was me. I know that face - wash it every day, keep it squeeky clean. So I reach over to my face and it... it feels human. And it's got blood all over it now. I got hair. Then I reach down to my chest... I got man-boobs now. Then I realize I gotta take a leak real bad, so I try to remember where the bathroom is, and I cross my legs, an' find Mr. Dinky ain't there. I reach in and feel around. Oh boy.
Then I realized why they was callin' me 'Alicia'. Whatever doohicky Stretcho was workin' on, it switched me with Alicia, and now she's got my big ugly-assed bod. How the hell was Gumby gonna get us outta this one? So I take my hand outta my girl's crotch - ain't gonna do anything untoward 'cause I respect her more than that - and I ask whoever is "What the cockamamy heck is goin' on here?"
"How are Alicia and Ben doing, Sweetheart?" I hear Professor Gumby askin'.
"Oh just peachy, I'm blind, my head's bleedin', and I gotta take a flippin' leak! Where the hell are we, where's the bathroom, and HOW THE HELL ARE YA GONNA GET US BACK INTA' OUR OWN BODIES?"
"Ben?"
"Are you as BLIND AS I AM RIGHT NOW STRETCHO? I'm in Alicia's body, an' it's all because of yer cockamamy machine! What the hell were ya tryin' to do this time? Switch yer mind with a fly? 'Cause that would be damn amusing!"
I was in my usual grouchy mood, and it turns out it was gonna get worse.
"REED RICHARDS!"
I heard the ugly old landlady stompin' in. Probably steamed 'cause his experiments were gettin' too noisy, smelly, dangerous, or maybe switching people without warning. Maybe it switched her with a dog - but nobody'd notice. Guess science does have its limits.
"REED RICHARDS! I've been getting complaints about your experiments again! They've woken up a sick old woman who is"
Stretcho got into his typical namby-pamby apologizing to to that bitch, so I decided to cut in with my two cents.
"Look, lady, could you come some other day when I'm through clobbrin' him?"
Her jaw musta dropped, but I didn't know 'cause I couldn't see. I did hear her gasp at the way I - no, Alicia - was gettin' in her face. And of course threatenin' to clobber Gumby.
"Well I never!" Miss Forbes sniffed.
"Wehw ah mehvah" I told her, rollin' my - no Alicia's - eyes.
"Please please just stop this! I don't even know what happened but yes... it does seem... Ben and I have been switched"
"Whoa Ben my man... this is sure gonna be interesting..." I heard Johnny say, an' when he laid a hand on his shoulder, I stepped back. Ain't no way he was gonna touch me. I may have a woman's body but I'm still a man and I ain't gonna let no man touch Alicia!
"Yeah, but yer still gonna get clobbered if ya ever try anythin' - so back off ya overgrown matchstick!"
"Ok ok Ben... I just need to getcha a bandage for your head!"
I felt him back off, which was good. Didn't wanna hafta worry 'bout him touchin' Alicia's body. Dirty little walkin' hormone.
"That's right, Ben, you're bleeding really badly from that nasty cut," Sue told me.
I felt Alicia - in my body - take my hand. It felt kinda like warm rocks were closing around my hand, and it got a little tight.
"Whoa whoa Alicia... little gentler..."
"Oh Ben... I-I'm sorry..." she began, an' it sounded like she was cryin' - poor Alicia. I wanted to hold her tight and never let go.
Alicia dropped my hand and I heard her step back, and something being knocked over. Guess she was still gettin' used to my body... and probably seeing. So, while Susie and Match-man was bandagin' my head, I felt around for Alicia until she took my hand again, this time it didn't hurt.
"That's ok, Alicia... easy does it..."
I reached up and felt her face, that face that I knew so well as my own. My hand stroked it and caught a few tears. Oh Alicia...
"Ben... Ben... I'm scared..." Alicia whispered.
"Don't worry, Alicia, It'll be ok"
Soon found out that yes, she could see, but she was havin' a hard time with it 'cause she'd been blind for so long. Me? I couldn't read braille, kept on trippin' over things, and had to start sitting down to take a leak. Great... can't wait 'till I get my first period. I can just picture Johnny bein' a wiseguy and giving me "Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret". If he does, I clobber him.
Hope Stretcho can find out how to get me and Alicia back into our own bodies before then.